Saying “Good-Bye”

Every missionary arrives at that day when he and his family find themselves standing before their home church for the last time before heading to the field God has called them to till.  That day was filled with so many emotions, excitement, sadness, joy and uncertain expectation.  I remember clearly our Pastor’s charge from Romans 12:9-21, the elders gathering around and praying and those last hugs and goodbyes from dear friends.

So off we went to Ukraine with our eighteen year old daughters and sixteen your old son.  Few mission boards would risk sending this couple in mid-life to the field.  How would our teenagers cope?  Would they even adapt to life in a foreign country?

Now we fast forward seven years.  Today we again find ourselves in our home church but in Ukraine, however only our son and his wife stand before the congregation to receive blessings and prayer before they leave for America.   Our son, who was reluctant to move to Ukraine, has mastered the Russian language, graduated from the Tchaikovsky Conservatory of Music, became skillful at playing the vibrofone, married a beautiful Ukrainian young woman at age 20, worked for the National Philarmonic Orchestra of Ukraine and has led praise music at our church.  Now in just two weeks, at age 23, he will begin study at the Berklee College of Music in Boston.

Once again my heart is filled with so many emotions.  As a father the emotion I feel the most is joy in the blessing of a son who has become a man who knows and fears God.  Our desire with all our children was to teach them to be independent, to think, to make decisions based on the Word of God and be caring others oriented adults.  We wanted them to understand God created them for a purpose and gave them gifts and  talents to use in His service and the service of others.  As Jamie played and Dasha sang for the last time in Kiev for awhile and listening to our pastor speak for the congregation about their service to our church, we know God enabled us to succeed and answered our prayers.

So now we stand in the congregation of our Ukrainian church, praying for God to continue to be at the center of their lives.  As our American church sent us, our Ukrainian church sends them back to America.  We remain continuing to till the field God has prepared for us and we eagerly look forward to learn what God has prepared for them.  We say “goodbye” knowing God has been and will be faithful.

Children of God

During the past several weeks I have been privileged to assist in the adoption process of four American families.  Typically these adopting parents arrive full of expectations for finding the perfect child.  Each story is unique. They quickly learn they are not as much in control of the process as they thought.  They find themselves somewhat tossed about in a sea of emotion without the cultural cues of language, alphabet and rules of behavior that are customary if not taken for granted in their native land.

At the adoption center they are typically presented  with three options of children to choose from.  The adopting parents look at different factors, gender, siblings, ages and  medical issues.  How do you say no to one and yes to another?  Is it selfish to want a child that meets all of your expectations?

Do you ever wonder how our heavenly Father choose us?  What expectations did he have of us?  How could we ever live up to these expectations?  The Scripture tells us we are dead in our trespasses and that no one is righteous, no not one.  It is difficult to imagine a completely holy God, perfect in every way who finds all sin and evil totally abhorrent and in opposition to His character choosing any of us, particularly me.

I often share with parents before they make their final decision to adopt or not that it is OK to want a perfectly healthy child.  You do everything thing to make the best decision.  But once the decision is made you agree to accept this child or these children forever and deal with whatever challenges arise.  They will arise because we are human and more importantly fallen creatures living in a fallen world.

Isn’t this how God deals with us.  When He adopts us, it is for eternity.  His love for us as His children is unconditional.

How reassuring to know God, our Father is the perfect example for us as parents.  He remains faithful to us even when we are unfaithful to Him.  Because He is perfect and cannot make a mistake, He works out everything for His glory and as well as the best for all those who love Him, even those things that are not so pleasant.  God knows and understands all of our circumstances, using both the good and bad things that happen to mold us into the likeness of His Son.

Now with the decision behind them, almost all the paperwork complete, it is time to pick up their new sons and daughters at the orphanage to take them to their new home.  It is a time of sadness and joy.  The children must say good bye to their old lives, friends and caretakers and begin the next phase of their lives in a new home, new parents, new country and new language.  They did not ask to be in the circumstances of living in an orphanage.  They might not have even realized they needed to be rescued from this situation.  How many of us thought we needed to be rescued from our sin or idols that we worship instead of the God who created us.

In some cases one of the new parents must return home to work and prepare for the arrival of their new children.  Our Lord has left us for a while but has promised to return after preparing a place for us heaven.

When the children leave the orphanage they take nothing with them.  All is left behind.  The new parents are expected to bring clothing for the children.  So when we become children of God we bring nothing to the relationship.  Taking nothing to chance, our God clothes us in robes of righteousness based upon what His Son accomplished for us by His death upon the cross.

Once at home some children have a difficult time becoming attached to their new parents.  Medically the earlier children are placed in orphanages and the longer they stay there the greater the possibility of developing an attachment disorder.  I am comforted by the fact that God repeatedly tells us that He loves us unconditionally.  He is able to overcome our lack of attachment to Him.  His grace is more than sufficient.  His ability more powerful.  His love more able to overcome a multitude of challenges.

How wonderful to participate as an instrument in God’s hands to serve these families and observe God at work in the hearts of the children, their new parents and their extended families.  We praise Him for what He has done and rejoice in His faithfulness for what He will do!  Thank you God for this privilege.

Reflections on Weddings

There may be many ways to know if you are a successful missionary, but maybe the first test would be your own children.  Marianna and I have always considered our three children our first and most important mission field.  God works in and through us.  We reflect God’s glory to them and then one day they actively assume the same role.

Just as we pray for God to raise up believers in the country we serve, so Marianna and I  have been praying for God to raise up believing spouses for our children.  He indeed has been faithful to us in every area providing an incredible wife for our son and now a husband for one of our daughters.

After the wedding of our son I felt a milestone had been passed, but we still had our daughter living at home.   As I looked back on my journal entry of that day August 13, 2005 I was reading 1st Chronicles Chapter 8.  No less than four times scripture talks about sons who were heads of their father’s houses and ends with sons who were mighty men of valor.  My thoughts turned to our son and I prayed that he would be such a man.

On that day I wrote the following: Today God is allowing a new family to begin, may God bless them directly and in proportion to their knowledge and obedience to Him.  May Jamie become the head of his home and always take into consideration the thoughts and suggestions of Dasha.  May Dasha truly love and cherish Jamie as he provides for her.  May they both strive to serve God and in so doing serve and love one another.

Now almost two and a half years later, our daughter Jeanne got married one week ago.  I could pray that same prayer for her and Kolya.  Interestingly my daily reading of the scripture has carried me to almost the same location in 1st Chronicles, but now chapter six.

 The beginning of Chronicles contains many genealogies of the families that formed the nation of Israel.  I am struck by the faithfulness of God through many generations and His design to have a purpose for each of these families.  As friends gathered from two different families to celebrate the beginning of a new family, I begin to recall the role God has given to the many people in each of the lives of this young couple which God used to devel0p their character and make Kolya and Jeanne more like Christ.

Certainly when they were born did any of the parents suspect their children would be marrying someone from another country.  I am grateful to God for using Kolya’s parents, teachers, friends to mold his character so that he will be the head of his household and a mighty man of valor for God.  We are thankful for all of our friends, pastors, teachers and the congregation of  our church in helping us raise our children to glorify God and enjoy Him forever.

Weddings are a celebration of all these things.  The ceremony was for Kolya and Jeanne.  The celebration is for all of us as we give glory to God for what He has done and brought together remembering the small role God gave us in the process.  He indeed is faithful.  May we rejoice and be glad for the great things He has done.

Having a baby in Ukraine!

You are a young couple and you decide to start your family.  You find out you are pregnant and need to decide where you will seek medical care.  If you are one of the new Ukrainians you can choose to have your baby at a new private hospital.  The cost is only $10,000 and you have to sign a paper saying you understand a healthy baby cannot be guaranteed.  Understandably this is too expensive for most Ukrainians.

 The next alternative is to give birth at a government hospital.  In Ukraine you always have two obstetricians.  One is typically a consultant and the other actually delivers the baby.  When the time of delivery arrives, you call your first choice and pray they are not busy.  Of course, that is why you have a back up.

Mothers and babies usually remain in the hospital for 3 or 4 days for a vaginal delivery and 7 days for a C-section.  For follow-up the pediatrician from the polyclinic comes to your flat after you come home.

I can guarantee this information is up-to-date since our neighbor just above us is the young couple having a baby.  She was very excited to learn that I was a pediatrician.  She said I will be her new best friend.  I told her our twins born 24 years ago by C-section cost about $4,000 and that when I was born the cost was $150.  She was quick to add her father born during the Soviet days cost nothing!

Just a week

Sometimes life seems to move so slowly and then at other times at the speed of light.  When I was in private practice, Wednesdays were always the benchmark for the week and the 15th for the month.  It always seemed when these points of time were realized the rest of the week or month was almost over in my mind.

Life seems to be in the fast lane right now.  We have lots of projects simmering if not already approaching a boil.  In the past week, we have began teaching medical terminology in English to the doctors and nurses at Okmadet, which is the #1 Children’s Hospital in Ukraine.  We met with our missionary neighbors, Jim and Liz Baker to assist them in planning an AIDS forum in Ukraine with the purpose of mobilizing the church to action.  We spent a day with our future UMO ministry partner Donna Crane, visiting with her son Austin to make decisions about future housing for their family.  We paid the bills.  Between Marianna and I, we had nine hours of  language instruction in Ukrainian and Russian.  I prepared and led our two hour Bible study for physicians.  I figured out after five hours of dogged determinism how to improve the security for our computer.  Met with Maria from Kremenchuk about how to bring humanitarian aid into the country and how our two organizations might cooperate.  Participated in discussions with ministry partners for future medical conferences in Ukraine.  Planned a surprise birthday dinner for our friend and colleague Ron Harris.  And somewhere in the thick of things found time for sleep, Bible study, and reading with my wife.

Yes, it was just a week which God filled with many blessings.  

Flowers Everywhere

What combines’s Valentine’s Day, Mother’s Day and Secretary’s Day and any other day celebrating women and their role in society and you have International Women’s Day.  This tradition was first started, believe it or not, in the United States, but few Americans, including Hallmark, know of this celebration.  In Ukraine it is a national holiday. 

This holiday is taken very seriously in Ukraine.  On the day before schools have special programs to honor their mothers.  It was a privilege to attend the “ootranik” or morning party at “Life” School for the Unteachable in Kyiv.  This is a school for children who have some mental disability such as autism.  The program was filled with music, singing, dancing, and skits.  The proud parents and grandparents were with cameras clicking away.  Some of the kids were dressed in traditional Ukrainian costumes or dressed as different animals.  Songs were sung about Spring and how important our Mothers and Grandmothers are in children’s lives.

While returning to the office I asked Nika, my assistant how her family observes this day.  Of course, they sleep in, but when they first get up Nika and her mother exchange gifts.  All day long her Father waits on her Mother.  He loves to cook. So he usually prepares a special meal.  It is a real family time.

Later that night at the medical bible study I presented the female physicians with special candy.  They presented Nika with flowers and a book.  I received flowers to give to Marianna in appreciation for letting me spend my Wednesday nights teaching.

On the way home I have never seen so many women with flowers.  The people watching the escalators in the Metro had flowers.  Women had not one, not two, but typically several bundles of flowers in their arms.  The flowers can be purchased at kiosks near the entrance to almost every metro stop.  There were flowers everywhere!

Today, Marianna and I celebrated the day with a special luncheon with another couple at a restrauant on the Dnipro River down the street from us.

May we remember tomorrow the respect women deserve as God’s unique workmanship and the role they play with us in accomplishing God’s purposes.

Doctor and Dad

Serving as a physician in a foreign country does present some interesting challenges in the doctor patient relationship.  In Ukraine where people openly don’t trust the system or in situations where someone wants to double check or just hear an explanation in their native tongue, I often get calls for assistance.

 I received one such call today from our daughter, Jeanne.  She was visiting friends about an hour and a half outside of Kyiv.  It was 5 AM and she woke up with excruciating back pain.  She initially dialed the wrong number and later told me she just started crying and said to the person, who happened to be a friend, ” Your not my Dad.  I need my Dad!” 

When we finally connected, I first switched into doctor mode, asking all the pertinent questions.  Then as the Dad, I said, “Do you want to come home?”  I knew her friends where taking good care of her but I also knew there was very limited medical care available in Rezhechyev, pop. 10,000.  I know how helpless I felt being able to offer advise only by phone, but I wonder how Ukrainians feel about the same problem living here all of their lives, I am sure no different.

Jeanne’s pain did not subside and she could not keep even ibuprofen in her stomach.  Her friends called back and said they were on their way.  To get the rest of the story you can read Marianna’s blog http://ukrainiac.wordpress.com and Jeanne’s too at http://jeannepeipon.blogspot.com.

Being a licensed physician in any country requires mastery of the language of the country in which you practice.  I am much better in speaking Russian, but far from fluent.  It is quite frustrating when you cannot communicate what used to be simple orders.  The names of the tests are never exactly the same.  Then there is the problem of accent.  Imagine someone having difficultly understanding me because of my thick American accent.

The thought process as doctor and dad is different.  I am thinking how can I help my daughter.  What happens if she needs to be admitted?  How do I get the medicines I need realizing some are the same,  some are similar but with different names, some are not available at all, and some are ones I have never heard of before.  Then there is the issue of being sure Jeanne’s mother and my wife know all the possibilities but being confident enough so as not to make her overly anxious.

 Well a good place to start is practice what you preach and begin with prayer.  As the day unfolded, God was certainly there guiding my thoughts, plans and steps.  I thank Him for His assistance today in helping me be both doctor and dad.